


Steve Rogers Does (Not Do) Marriage Counseling

by Neverever



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Fake Marriage, Jealousy, M/M, Marriage Counseling, Not Marvel Cinematic Universe Phase Two Compliant, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-04
Updated: 2016-01-04
Packaged: 2018-05-07 08:33:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5450165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neverever/pseuds/Neverever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natasha and Clint are kidnapped by HYDRA during a routine mission. Steve and Tony have to go undercover as a married couple at a couples counseling weekend to uncover where they're being held. Except they had kissed at the SHIELD holiday party the day before and Tony doesn't want to talk about it. What is Steve going to do?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Steve Rogers Does (Not Do) Marriage Counseling

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ElectricityLingerss](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElectricityLingerss/gifts).



> My Cap/Iron Man 2015 Holiday Fic exchange gift for Electricitylingerss. They asked for a fake relationship and undercover mission story. I hope you enjoy this story!
> 
> Big thanks as ever to my beta, Armplutonic.

Steve had better places to be than on a crowded hotel shuttle leaving the Jackson Hole, Wyoming airport. Like taking a hike through the Grand Teton National Park, whose snow-capped vista he could see through the dingy windows of the shuttle van. 

Instead, he was going to a resort hotel for a couples counseling weekend. With Tony, of all people. 

This mission already looked to be one of his most difficult. It didn’t help that Tony had been in a cranky mood since they took off from JFK. Steve continued to stare moodily out the window at the Grand Tetons. 

He was worried about Natasha and Clint. It had been seventy-two hours since they missed their check-in, and Tony and Steve had been tapped to track their whereabouts. Steve was not certain, however, that this was the best way to rescue them from HYDRA. He knew Coulson and Hill were working their intel contacts and other options while he and Tony went undercover. 

Coulson had debriefed them early that morning. Natasha and Clint were investigating intel on a possible HYDRA base in Wyoming before they disappeared. Natasha had managed to get a message to Hill that they were being trailed by HYDRA agents and to assume the worst if they did hear from them within 24 hours. Somehow Coulson and Hill had dredged up this couples counseling retreat as a cover for Steve and Tony. 

The first words out of Steve’s mouth were, “We have to pretend to be married?” 

Unfazed, Coulson said, “Of course, it’s a couples retreat. You’re attending because you want to work on your relationship.” 

Tony glared at the agent. “Anyone seeing Steve would know that I married him for one reason only. And no one needs counseling for that.” 

“I’m sure you’ll manage to work through this. Barton and Romanoff’s lives depend on it.” 

“Isn’t there anyone else?” Steve asked as Tony glowered. 

“No one who has your or Stark’s specific skills sets. Let Stark do the talking, Captain, and it will all work out. We believe in you.” 

Next thing they knew, he and Tony were being herded onto a van heading to JFK airport with luggage, commercial airline tickets and only the barest clues on how to locate their lost teammates. 

Sitting close to Steve in the van, Tony was tapping furiously on his phone, muttering a mile a minute under his breath. As the van pulled up to the resort decorated tastefully for the holidays, he shoved the phone into a messenger bag. “I’m never flying commercial again,” he declared to Steve. He handed a tip over to the van driver who unloaded their bags, including the artist’s portfolio containing Steve’s shield, from the back. To be frank, Steve hated their flight too. Coulson’s staff had found two last minute tickets for the flight and they had been stuck in the middle and aisle seats in the economy section of the plane with a connecting stop in Salt Lake. Even with the serum’s benefits, Steve was still working working the cricks out of his neck. (Tony had commandeered both armrests of course.) 

But now he was focused on the mission – Natasha and Clint no doubt had it worse in HYDRA captivity than all 6 foot 2 of him being stuffed in an economy airline seat or Tony not having access to high-speed WiFi for a few hours. 

It might have helped if Tony had said more than ten words to him since they were dropped off at JFK. Or had managed to look directly at Steve despite sitting shoulder-to-hip with him for the last thousand miles. It had to be because of the SHIELD holiday party the night before. Steve frowned. He couldn’t imagine a worse time to be partnered up with Tony on a critical mission. 

As soon as they checked in at the hotel and were shown their suite, Tony swept the nicely-appointed rooms looking for bugs and hidden cameras, while Steve checked the sightlines from the windows and the hallway. 

“All clear,” he said as he shut the door. 

Perched on one of the king beds in the back room of the suite, Tony had already powered up his computer and was running through the latest data that Hill sent over secure channels. Steve sat on the other bed, anxiously watching Tony. Tony tapped a little more on his laptop. 

“No news,” Tony said with dismay. 

“Oh,” Steve replied. His heart sank. 

“I guess we’re stuck going through _couples counseling_ together, Steve.” 

“Yes.” Steve really was not looking forward to it at all. 

“Well, good thing this place is a 5-star resort with decent WiFi.” 

There was a knock at the door. “You go,” Steve said. “I’ll cover from here.” 

Tony answered the door. “Hello!” he said with a press-conference worthy smile. 

The woman, armed with a clipboard and wearing a navy blazer, looked up at Tony, and back down at the information on her sheet. 

“Dave Childers? I’m Karen, one of the leaders of our Reconnecting Retreat. I’ve got packets for you and your husband, with a couple of exercises for you to complete before our first meeting in the morning.” 

“Thank you! We’re looking forward to it.” Another beaming smile. Steve gritted his teeth as Tony poured on the charm. 

“Remember – it’s All About Reconnecting!” the woman replied. 

Tony waved cheerily and shut the door behind her. “She doesn’t look like a HYDRA agent to me. Unless HYDRA’s gotten into the couples retreat business.” He tossed the packet over to Steve. “Roger Stevens, really? Coulson let you out of New York with that alias?” 

“I’m more of a soldier than a spy,” Steve admitted. 

“I should have done this with Rhodey,” Tony muttered. He threw the packet on the coffee table in the suite’s living room. “I’m going to get back to work now.” 

“Um, I’m going to check out the fitness center.” 

Tony nodded, then straightened abruptly. “Are you okay with us sharing the same room?” 

“If it’s a problem, I can sleep on the couch,” Steve offered. 

“Not a problem for me, Spangles. Just don’t get between me and the coffee maker, and we’ll be fine. Let’s stick to the mission.” 

Steve nodded. He headed off for the resort’s fitness center. He’d been in the future long enough to know that if a place advertised a ‘top of the line fitness center’ he probably didn’t stand much chance of getting in a decent workout. He could do laps around the pool though, if it was a good size. 

~~~~~ 

Unlike Tony, Steve read through the packet that the Retreat leader had left for them. He did not like what he read (“reconnect in a healthy and supportive way with your life partner!”). He looked over at the bed next to his at the blanket lump with brown hair sticking out at the top. 

“Uh, Tony?” 

“What? I’m trying to sleep here.” 

“You’re not going to mention that, uh, holiday party?” 

“Do you want to talk about the party, Steve? Because I got the distinct impression from you that you didn’t want to talk about it.” 

“What? Where’d you get that idea?” 

“From everything you’ve done or said, or rather not done or said, since then.” Tony flipped over and buried himself under the sheets. “Go to sleep, Rogers. We’ve got work in the morning.” 

Steve wondered if the concierge could suggest a place to go for a nice twenty-mile run. He’d be glad for a good long run, even in the wet snow . 

~~~~~ 

An hour after he first turned in, he still couldn’t sleep. He stared at the ceiling as he listened to Tony sleep in the other bed. He tried to focus on the mission -- locate the HYDRA base and rescue Natasha and Clint. They didn’t have a lot of time and had no leads. 

His mind turned over what exactly happened at the holiday party -- whether he kissed Tony first or Tony him. The whole thing was kind of blurry still. The SHIELD Holiday party. Thor and his Asgardian liquor. He hadn’t felt like that since that celebration his friends had over his getting a WPA job in June 1938. Slightly tipsy and buzzed, he floated on air, with a silly smile plastered on his face and all he could do was nod pleasantly at people. 

He took a deep breath. There was mistletoe, Tony making some terrible joke with a beautiful, sweet smile. Somehow they ended up in an office with a shirtless Tony sitting on his lap. He might have been shirtless himself. He couldn’t piece together much past that, and in the morning he’d been woken out of a deep sleep for this reconnaissance-and-rescue mission. 

What exactly had happened with Tony? He just didn’t know. 

~~~~~ 

Steve was assembling breakfast at the resort restaurant buffet when he met his first fellow retreat colleague. By the end of the buffet, Steve knew pretty everything he’d ever want to know about Tim, except his sock size. By the end of breakfast, Steve knew a lot about Tim’s wife, Diane, and Aaron, another retreat attendee. His wife, Michelle, was running late -- something came up at the office, Aaron said. They lived locally but would be staying at the resort for the rest of the retreat. 

The dawning horror of what exactly was going to happen over the next four days struck Steve. Tim and Aaron were nice guys. But Steve would have been much happier to talk about sports or movies or anything except these guys’ marriages. It wasn’t his business what happened behind closed doors. And sure it didn’t seem like either guy had ties to HYDRA. 

“Tony -- you know what we have to do at this retreat?” Steve said in alarm as he burst into the bathroom. 

Tony was carefully trimming his beard to reshape it from the way he usually wore it. No one had recognized him yet and Steve hoped that they could keep it that way. Tony swished his razor through the water in the sink. He sighed, set the razor down and turned to Steve. “What did you think was going to happen? Now you know why I told Coulson what a stupid idea this was?” 

Steve paused. In theory he understood that he was going to be in a room talking about his (fake) marriage with Tony with other people were going to be talking about their marriages. “How is this going to help us find Clint and Natasha?” He now noticed that Tony was in a t-shirt and a pair of boxers which showed off how nicely shaped Tony’s legs were. 

“You know what this is about?” 

“It’s a couples retreat where we’re supposed to ‘reconnect’ with each other.” 

“We have to talk about the problems in our marriage. To other people. Out loud.” 

“So? That’s what you do at these things. You complain about how much time I spend in the workshop, and I complain that you don’t appreciate my genius, that kind of jazz. Most people are going to say the same things. Although, it would be helpful if someone complained that working for HYDRA was wrecking their marriage.” 

“If we were married, this would be our private business. Tony, I can’t possibly talk to anyone about, um, my feelings for, uh, you.” 

Tony chuckled. “The therapists are going to love you. Strong, silent, emotionally unavailable types are like catnip for these people.” 

“This is not helping.” 

“Well, what did you do when you worked with the SHIELD therapists?” 

Steve thought about that. “I didn’t.” 

Tony shook his and turned to stare at Steve. “Come on – you must have had mandatory counseling sessions after you were defrosted.” 

“SHIELD wanted me to meet with someone, but I cancelled the appointments. I can handle things myself, I don’t need to talk to anyone.” Steve put a lot of stock in punching things and running marathons to clear his mind. Worked great. In fact, he should plan on lots of workouts during the next few days. For reasons. 

“That explains a lot.” Tony rolled his eyes. “Look, when they ask me, I’m going to say that I’m worried that you seem to like working out more that hanging out with me. Or you have an addiction to knitting. I haven’t made up my mind yet.” 

“Addiction to knitting?” 

“Well, I’m not going to tell them that my father searched for you for decades when your plane went down and that he worshipped you obsessively. Although it would be hysterical if I told that story.” 

Steve sighed. Howard was always a touchy subject with Tony. He decided to change the subject. “Um, any new mission data?” 

“Complete silence from Coulson. I don’t know why we’re here either. There’s plenty of covers we could have used to find that HYDRA base. Jackson Hole is popular this time of year and if we came as part of the ski set I could have taken my private jet here.” 

“No one would suspect that we were here for a couples retreat, though,” Steve said. 

“Right, who’d believe that Steve Rogers and Tony Stark were dating or married? That’s the height of insanity!” Tony said. 

Steve narrowed his eyes. “What are you trying to say, Tony?” 

“Nothing at all,” Tony said. “Better work on your cover story, Buttercup. We’re on in 15.” 

~~~~~ 

Steve steeled himself for an entire day and part of the evening working on his (nonexistent) relationship with Tony. Except that this couples retreat was not an indoor retreat. The retreat leaders (Jim, Neil, Cat and Karen) introduced the schedule, which included cross-country skiing, snowmobiling, snowshoeing, skiing, wildlife safaris, and even a romantic sleigh ride (at which point Steve sighed, only to be elbowed by Tony). All in service of helping the couples work through their problems with healthy activity. 

“I’m going to die out there, sweetie,” Tony said to Steve in a stage whisper. 

Steve was rather excited by the idea of dog sledding. He’d always wanted to learn. He patted Tony’s knee. “I might let you off the training rotation for a week if you survive,” he whispered back. 

However, the evenings were full of group sessions to talk about what they learned about each other. Tony leaned over to Steve. “What I’m going to learn is how you’re going to dial it down around this crowd. Are you going to fake not knowing how to ski?” 

Steve examined the eighteen other fellow retreat attendees with a critical eye. They were a mostly fit, youngish crowd, but clearly not up to the rigorous activity that Steve needed and enjoyed. “Yeah.” 

Then the retreat leaders announced the group dinners and other outings. Karen, the woman they met the first night, said, “Before we leave for our first activity, we have to ask you to pack up your things. There was a mistake with the room assignments -- we need to move you out of the suites into the single rooms. The hotel staff will bring your bags to your new rooms. It’s All About Reconnecting! And leaving you in the suites won’t help with that. Sorry -- our mistake!” 

Tony muttered to Steve, “I’m glad I stashed that extra armor at the Stark Industries satellite office. Because if anyone found it, the gig would be up.” 

The first activity of the day was a horse-drawn sleigh ride through the National Elk Refuge over beautiful, sparkling snow-covered fields with a spectacular view of the Teton Range. The retreat leaders suggested that the group be inspired by nature and the setting to remember what is special about their relationship. “Think about what you found special about each other when you first met!” 

Steve was inspired all right. He scanned the landscape looking for the subtle signs of a secret base. Lots of wide open space. The rest of the group watched for elk or talked quietly to their spouse. 

Nudging Steve, Tony asked, “Are you okay?” 

“What? Oh. Thanks, I’m fine,” Steve replied. 

“It’s a little cruel of Coulson to send us on a winter outdoor activity retreat, considering --” 

Steve shrugged. “It’s the mission, right?” 

“Look -- elk! -- over there!” Tony shouted, pointing to a large animal on the horizon. The rest of the group immediately turned to watch. Tony bent in closer to Steve. “Any leads?” 

Steve shook his head. “The base could be one of these remote ranches.” 

After a catered lunch -- during which many members of the retreat waxed poetic about the inspiring ride -- the group headed for a few hours of snowshoeing. The purpose of the snowshoeing exercise was to encourage teamwork and connectivity through learning or sharing a new skill. 

Tony kept up with the mission by talking up the various members of the retreat and the snowshoeing instructors. Steve admired Tony’s easy charm as he joked his way through the trails. Midway through the afternoon, the retreat leaders were clearly already fond of Tony and his professed enthusiasm. However, they had set their sights on Steve as ‘Not Getting With The Program.’ 

At the end of the trail, Neil pulled Steve aside and stated, “Roger, you seem to know a lot about snowshoeing, but you act like you don’t know what you’re doing.” 

Hoping he could bluff his way through the confrontation, Steve said, “I really haven’t snowshoed before.” Except for that mission to Norway in ‘44, he added to himself. 

Neil sighed and put his hand on Steve’s shoulder as if imparting a great mystery. “Roger, if you can’t be honest with yourself, how can you be honest with Dave and save your marriage?” 

Steve made a mental note to avoid Neil for the time being. 

The group had a wonderful dinner back at the resort followed by an evening of discussion of what makes a good and rock-solid marriage. Tony was the star of the evening, talking about his love for Steve and his fears about how they were drifting apart because of their demanding work. Meanwhile, Steve developed an irrational hatred of the words connect, connecting and connectivity and variants thereof. 

On the way to their new room, Tony reported, “The group’s taken a vote and it’s either us or Tim and Diane who are headed straight for divorce court after the retreat.” He unlocked the door. “I’ll fight you tooth and nail over JARVIS. In case you were thinking of claiming custody. 

Once inside the room, Steve noticed the distinct change in their lodgings. “Um, Tony --” 

“Yeah, I see it too. Ugh.” 

As promised, they had been changed from the three-room suite and rehoused in a single room with a one large king-size bed. “I’ll take the floor,” Steve immediately offered. 

“What a gentleman. But even you can’t spend three nights on the floor.” Tony looked through the closet for extra pillows and prodded the small loveseat in the room to see if it pulled out into a bed. “We could call for a fold-out bed or something.” 

“Try to contact Coulson and I’ll do some recon on a pull-out bed.” 

An hour later, Steve returned empty-handed to the room. “We were too late -- they’re totally out of pull-out beds.” 

“Great,” Tony muttered. 

“You know I’m not crazy about this either. This couples’ retreat and this bed thing --” Steve waved at the large bed. 

“I would’ve thought you’d be thrilled about the single bed,” Tony said sharply. 

“What does that mean?” Steve snapped back. “As I recall, you made the first move.” 

Tony scoffed. “That’s not how I remember it. At all.” 

“Maybe we should just talk about the party!” 

“Mission, Steve, we have to stay on mission. We found nothing today and we’ve got two teammates in danger.” 

Steve pulled out the next day’s schedule. “One of us could skip out of skiing tomorrow morning to investigate -- how’s your ankle?” 

“Easily sprainable. Plus I bet that our leaders are just dying to get you alone and grill you about our failing relationship.” 

They examined the data Coulson sent. Steve studied the area satellite map and pointed out about five possible locations for the secret HYDRA base Clint and Natasha had located. Tony tapped out notes on his laptop. “I’ll canvas the staff tomorrow as well,” Tony added. 

“What about the bed?” Steve inquired. 

Tony sighed and shoved his laptop to the side. He sacrificed the room’s ironing board and a few hangers as he rigged up a curtain to separate the bed into separate Steve and Tony sides. “I expect that to hold,” he said with a trace of pride. “Even if you thrash your way through the night on your side.” 

~~~~~ 

Another sleepless night and Steve couldn’t shake the memory of the holiday party. Flashes of the night came back to him. He slid his hand under Tony’s silk shirt to slip it off his shoulder, breath caught in his throat as he touched warm olive skin. Tony laughing as he swung a leg over Steve’s to straddle his lap. The press of Tony’s lips against his, the brush of his tongue in Steve’s mouth and hands on his waist. Tony’s gasp as he helped Steve pulled his sweater off over his head. 

How did it all start? 

Did it start when Tony nudged him and shared a smile and a laugh as they watched Clint try to out-bluff Natasha at cards? Did it start when he was caught off guard by the sparkle in Tony’s eyes? Did it start months ago when he and Tony stayed up all night planning a mission and they ended up talking more than analyzing? Had he fallen bit by bit for Tony and his brilliance and his courage until, feeling no inhibitions, he seized the chance to kiss Tony? 

Maybe Tony didn’t want to talk about this because he didn’t feel the same way. Maybe Steve hadn’t read the situation right. But he swore that Tony kissed him enthusiastically and didn’t stop him when he put his hand on Tony’s ass. 

Steve stared at the ceiling as he turned it over and over in his mind. He eventually drifted off to uneasy sleep and dreams of yelling and arguing with shadowy figures while someone kept asking him how he felt about that. 

~~~~~ 

In the morning, Tony managed to wake up before Steve and went out and about investigating. Steve met up with him at the 8:00 a.m. Retreat meeting. Tony, tight-lipped, shook his head. Steve didn’t have much to report from Coulson’s team either. 

“I don’t think you’re going skiing,” Tony said, pointing to the snowflakes in the air. 

“People ski in the snow,” Steve said. 

“Not this crowd. Lawsuits. You’ll see.” 

Tony wasn’t wrong, Steve admitted, as Jim announced that there had been a change in plans. No skiing in the morning and the snowmobile trip had been cancelled as well. Which meant that they would be spending the day in the hotel, except for a trip to a local restaurant for expanded lunch. Steve could make his escape at lunch to do some reconnoitering. 

The leaders broke the groups into smaller groups and split up the couples. Steve ended up in a group being led by Jim. He glanced over to see Tony giving his group one of his charming smiles. Tony could be a wildly attractive man when he smiled and his chic casual outfit highlighted all his best assets. 

“Roger?” Jim said. “We’re ready to start.” 

Steve hadn’t realized that he was staring at Tony. He girded himself for the counseling session. “Okay,” he said, ready to face Jim and his questions just like he would a HYDRA agent. 

“So tell me three things you love about Dave and three you don’t,” Jim said. 

“Um.” What could he say about Tony that wouldn’t give them away. “Um, he’s the smartest man I know. He’s very generous. And, um, he’s very courageous.” 

Jim prompted again. “Three things you don’t like about your husband.” 

Come to think of it, there wasn’t much he didn’t like about Tony. “Well, I can’t think of anything --” 

Michelle, the local accountant, said, “You’ve both been arguing all the time. Sounds like something isn’t right there.” Other group members chimed in. 

Diane, sitting next to him, patted his arm. “It’s okay, Roger, we’re all here because we have issues.” She flashed him a not-particularly innocent smile. 

He had to dredge up something about Tony. He had kind of stopped thinking about the things that he disliked about Tony months ago. Not since he’d moved into the tower. Tony did annoying things, but they no longer got on Steve’s nerves. “Um, well, he’s more impulsive than he should be. And he gets wrapped up in his work and forgets things.” The other group members nodded in perfect understanding. “And, um, he avoids talking about, um, difficult things.” 

That’s how the rest of the morning went. Steve had several moments when he wanted to run screaming from the room. Especially when unflappable and cheerful Jim said things like “Use your words, Roger!” and “Talking about your feelings is good for you.” Steve remained convinced that talking about his feelings was not enjoyable, productive nor likely to help him locate the HYDRA base where his friends were likely being held captive. 

At least lunch was promising. The group leaders escorted them to a lovely restaurant near downtown Jackson Hole. Steve and Tony were sitting at a table with a few other couples. Again, Tony managed to be the life of the party, talking about how he met Steve at a gallery showing of Steve’s art (which was amazing), their life in New York City (beautiful co-op apartment with dogs), and how they found out about the couples retreat (a friend suggested it). “I was planning to spend New Year’s Eve with Steve, but this retreat will make it even more special. Here’s to a new start!” 

Diane angled to sit next to Steve and managed to drape her arm over his. “Here, here!” she agreed. “Can’t imagine a better way to spend the holidays,” she said to Steve. “Beautiful country around here. Invigorating and stunning to look at.” 

“Yes, but most of it seems to be already owned by someone,” Tony said darkly to her. He shifted his chair to be closer to Steve. 

Michelle laughed. “That’s true! Aaron and I moved here a few years ago and there have been so many changes in that short time. The company I work for just moved here two years ago.” 

“Who do you work for?” Steve asked. 

“A small company -- Advanced Engineering . We’re a clearinghouse for recycled heavy equipment, scientific instruments, that sort of thing.” 

“That sounds interesting,” Diane said. “So, Roger, you work as an artist?” 

“I work mostly in, um, graphic design, and do art on the side,” Steve replied. 

“He’s a spectacular artist,” Tony said. “He’s creating a series of watercolors for our apartment. We just need to settle on the subject, don’t we, darling?” Steve would give them away if he stared in shock at Tony, especially when Tony started taking food off his plate. 

“Really? You don’t look like an artist. You look like you’re a Navy Seal,” Diane persevered. 

“I work out?” Steve said. 

“More than he should,” Tony teased. “But I’m not complaining since I get to enjoy the results.” He stared down Diane as he put an arm around Steve’s shoulders. 

Interrupting the lunch, the leaders announced that the group would be allowed an hour-and-a-half break before they headed back to the resort for the afternoon session. As Steve got up from the table, Tony pulled him aside. “Wait, let everyone else go.” 

The group dispersed quickly out of the restaurant. Tony pulled his phone out and tapped for a minutes. “Okay, I asked Coulson to check out Advanced Engineering. Doesn’t make sense that a company working with recycled equipment would be here in Jackson Hole.” 

“Why?” 

“Real estate is too expensive, it’s hard to get here. So many cheaper places to send heavy machinery before recycling.” 

“Right.” 

Tony and Steve split up, the better to check out the town. They would catch up back at the resort vans. Steve worked out a search grid to do his reconnaissance. He didn’t find much except that he chatted with a couple of people at a coffee shop who turned out to also work for Advanced Engineering -- they claimed they did engineering consulting work. Steve hoped that he didn’t show any reaction to this contradiction. 

He headed back to the vans. But he noticed that he was being shadowed by someone. The person slipped behind buildings whenever Steve looked behind him. He slowly walked past large shop windows, catching a reflection of the person on his tail. He made a sharp corner, waiting for the person tailing him to stop short, and grabbed the man’s arm. 

“Hey, let me go,” the man snapped. He waved his camera at Steve. “I’m trying to work here.” 

“Why are you following me?” 

“I’m not following you -- I’m trying to photograph them. Are you the bodyguard?” The paparazzo pointed to what appeared to be a celebrity couple strolling along ahead of them. Steve dropped the man’s arm when he realized what was going on. The paparazzo gave Steve a dirty look and ran after the couple. 

Tony was waiting at the vans, the only person there. “Still waiting to hear back,” he said in a low voice to Steve. Steve told him what he found out. “Great. I’m developing some theories here.” 

“I don’t like any of this,” Steve confessed. “The people on this retreat -- they’re taking this seriously.” He was profoundly uncomfortable that he and Tony were playing at something that other people were truly trying to work through. 

“Eh, I’m not so sure about that.” Tony wiped the snowflakes off his face before Steve was tempted to do so. “Seriously, Steve, was that woman hitting on you at a retreat to save her marriage?” 

“Who? Oh, Diane.” 

“You didn’t realize that she was making a pass at you?” Tony asked. “Come on, her hands were all over you, Steve, and you didn’t think that was a pass?” 

“She’s married!” Steve said. “She was with her husband.” 

Tony stared incredulously at Steve. “Are you that dense?” 

“No,” Steve replied miserably. 

“Basically, you’re telling me that you wouldn’t know what to do if someone made a pass at you.” 

“I wouldn’t know what a pass is or was. That’s what I’m saying.” 

“So you wouldn’t call shoving your hand on my ass a pass?” 

“I don’t remember it that way -- you seemed to be pretty excited when I did that. But first, you made some joke about mistletoe and kissed me. Are you saying that you weren’t showing interest?” 

Tony opened his mouth to reply but instead grabbed Steve’s scarf and pulled him down for a hard, fast kiss. Getting over his shock quickly, Steve nearly melted into Tony, opening his mouth to deepen the kiss. This was the Tony he remembered from the holiday party. Just as things started heating up, Tony broke off the kiss and turned to say hello to Diane. 

Steve was immediately disappointed when he realized that all Tony was doing was marking his territory. He followed everyone else into the vans, glumly facing an afternoon of talking about his feelings. The only thing that would save him now would be SHIELD running a raid on the place. 

~~~~~ 

Strangely, Steve was amused by the death stares Diane gave Tony during the afternoon session. The leaders had the couples meet together in a new groups. An unhappy Diane ended up in their group while a competitive Tony was ready to show that Steve was his and his alone. 

Cat said that they would be working that afternoon on an event or interaction that made the couples unhappy. They would examine the interaction to see how they could have handled it better. Steve looked over Tony but couldn’t quite read the expression on Tony’s face -- whether he was amused or just planning new armor upgrades. He decided to wait for Tony’s lead on this. 

Steve would frankly rather be tortured by the Red Skull than do this. 

The other couples went first and Steve hoped that they would drag out their conversations so that the time would run before Cat remembered to call on him and Tony. He was not that lucky. 

Turning to Steve, Cat smiled brightly. “Now it’s your turn, Dave and Roger.” 

Tony looked at Steve and Steve at Tony. They didn’t say anything. 

Cat prodded them again. “It’s your turn to share.” 

“Yes, Roger, your turn,” Tony pointed out. 

“You can say something too, Dave,” Steve shot back. He couldn’t quite tell if Tony was trying to eat up time or was challenging Steve. 

“Use your words, Roger!” Cat said encouragingly. “Tell Dave about a time when he made you angry or sad or disappointed.” 

Steve glanced back at Tony. “There was that time that you, um, forgot to tell me that, ah, you were doing an errand. And I was mad.” 

“You’re always mad when I do an ‘errand’ without telling you. Usually works out.” 

“Not always.” 

“Good, Roger, talk this out with Dave. But be more specific so we can understand better,” Cat said with a chorus of nods from the other couples. 

“Be more specific,” Tony repeated. Steve narrowed his eyes -- Tony had that “I dare you” look on his face. And that always encouraged the worst from Steve. 

“Why don’t you say something?” Steve parried back. 

“I got mad that time when you, um, said something about my workout routine.” 

Steve blinked. “You need to take training seriously. You could get hurt.” Steve let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. So far so good, they hadn’t broken their cover. 

“You worry about me getting hurt?” 

“All the time,” Steve admitted. He looked furtively around the circle. “Training means better preparation and, uh, that way you won’t get hurt.” 

“Oh, lovely, Roger,” Cat said encouragingly. “But you’re both still vague. Aaron, for example, mentioned that he gets angry when Michelle has to work late.” 

Steve had the sinking feeling that the session wasn’t over until he confessed something. Anything. Tony seemed willing to let him squirm. “You’re enjoying this,” he snapped. 

“Not at all,” Tony replied. “I know that you’d rather have your teeth pulled out one by one than do counseling. But we have to think of the greater good.” Tony shifted in his folding chair. “I am concerned about your anger problem.” 

“I don’t have an anger problem.” 

“You kicked that wastepaper basket clear across the room last week. After getting, uh, that news.” Steve lifted an eyebrow. Tony blinked and shrugged a little. “Maybe you had a reason. A good one. I shouldn’t have brought it up.” 

“No, Dave, that’s exactly what we need to talk about it. How did that you make feel?” Cat interrupted. 

“That Roger is really hot,” Tony blurted out. 

“Oh?” Steve replied. “You thought that was hot?” 

“Well, you know, you do a lot of hot things. Like that time you ripped open that door to rescue Tasha, when her arm was trapped.” 

“You would have done the same,” Steve said. “You’re always doing things like that for the team.” 

Tony smiled. “Yeah, but --” 

“No, you’re brilliant and brave and --” Steve felt the tips of his ears burning. “Hot also.” 

“Really? You think that?” 

“I thought -- I wasn’t hiding how I felt about you …” 

“You’re not exactly free with the feelings, you know.” 

“Except when I kick a trash can.” 

“Fury’s an ass. He was being ridiculous not telling us all about the mission objectives. I just wasn’t expecting that -- you usually take your anger out on gym equipment.” 

“That's true,” Steve agreed. He shifted closer to Tony. “But the party? What about that? You made a joke --” 

“About carrying mistletoe for emergency situations and that you looked like you were having an emergency.” 

“Yeah -- then we, um, you know. Did you want to?” 

“Did you? Because I have no idea what Thor put in your drink -- I hate to think that I blew my one chance with you because I might have taken advantage of you drunk.” 

“I was tipsy and perfectly capable of saying yes. And what do you mean your one chance?” Steve felt a silly smile creeping over his face. 

“I have to admit I was surprised you kissed back. But you’re saying I have more chances?” 

“If you want ‘em,” Steve replied. “You got ‘em.” 

“Like we could blow this popsicle stand right now and go a real date?” 

“Gentlemen, it sounds like there’s been a breakthrough, but we have no idea about what you’re talking about.” 

“Party, kissing, dates. It’s pretty simple, Cat,” Tony replied. He pulled out his buzzing phone. “Guess what. We’re done here.” 

“What --?” Steve asked. 

“Work’s calling. Let’s get going.” Tony walked around the circle to shake everyone’s hands. “I wish you all a lot of luck. Thank you for a good couple of days. I wish I could say it was fun. But I have high standards for what I call fun.” 

Tony hustled Steve out the door. He showed him the message. “Coulson’s found them. They’re almost here -- they’re sending a jeep to get us. So grab the shield and I’ll get the suit.” 

Soon enough, Steve was in a jeep with a large SHIELD contingent descending on the small ranch complex currently rented by Advanced Engineering an hour south of Jackson Hole. “That was the tipoff,” Tony told him over the comms. “Advanced Engineering is part of a series of shell companies owned by people associated with HYDRA.” 

“Good. We go in, defeat the bad guys and rescue our friends.” 

“All before dinner too! Hey after this, you want to hang around for a couple days, take advantage of our new enlightenment?” 

“That’s a great idea, Tony.” 

“We can get one of the suites --” 

“Stop flirting and focus. Get a room later,” Coulson snapped. 

In the next hour, Steve and Tony mowed down a number of HYDRA agents on their way to finding Clint and Natasha, and arrived to find Natasha tying up a HYDRA guard while Clint worked a computer. 

“What took you so long?” she asked. 

Steve looked at Tony and smiled. Tony secretly squeezed Steve’s hand. Tony replied, “We were just wondering that ourselves.”


End file.
